pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
