He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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