Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
