I think I won the penis lottery.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
