is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
