Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
