So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
