We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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