You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
