Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize