well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
