I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
