Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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