I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
