Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
