Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
