DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
