you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
