I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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