Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize