Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
