can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
