Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
PANTIES FOUND
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