I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
