omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
