Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
