the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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