I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
