I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
