Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
