youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
