dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
