We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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