I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
