Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
