If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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