NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The adults are the big ones right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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