did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
