Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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