I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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