is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize