there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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