i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
