someone threw a dead crab at me
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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