So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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