ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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