How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
