even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
