ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
