I threw up into my coffee this morning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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