just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
