But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
