This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
