you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
