He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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