I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
