I think my fart just growled at me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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